When You Find Out You're Not Liked

      So I've come to the realization that I may not be the most like-able person. Of course I'd like to be liked, but the truth is, everyone isn't like-able. There have to be those who cause conflict. And unfortunately, I believe I am one of those annoying, high-pitched, crazy, oblivious people that I know you hate, too.
      Don't get me wrong, I'm not all bad. There are just people in the world who are much more universally liked, then those that maybe half dislike like and the other half tolerate and/or find amusing. I believe I became aware of how people don't like me when a boy came to my door asking for my roommate, who just so happens to be one of those universally liked people. The boy is my friend too. I said no, she isn't here, and we just looked at each other. Then I asked why he never came to see me, and he said he didn't know. Then I closed the door, but not before blowing him a raspberry.
     It was then, in the silence after my spit had quieted, that I realized that I would not like myself if I were someone else. And that's the thing. Would you like you? I certainly wouldn't like me. I'm really cranky and honest-maybe too honest. But I also lie. Really, really easily. I mean, they just fall out of my mouth, and I'm apparently very convincing. So to others, I am the pretty but very odd, rude, cranky girl with the sweet roommate people actually visit. Well, that's it for this subject. I think that now maybe you understand some things. And if not, I really don't care.

(see? totally mean.)

When people pray for you...and you're atheist

      I was just in a prayer circle. Have you ever been in one? People stand in a circle, hold hands, close their eyes, and pray out loud. Now I normally don't do this, because I personally don't believe prayer accomplishes anything other than hope (which is important, but I'll address that some other time). But this time I was in my room (I live in a dorm) and I heard people in the hall. Naturally, I was curious, so I opened my door to find about six people. Two were boys-cute boys. Yes, that's why I did it. One came up to me and asked if he could pray for me. What was I supposed to say, "no"? If I did, you just know they'd all try to  get me to talk about God and get me to their church. So I said yes. Just have people think prayers and done. But no, Cutie takes my hand, Other Cutie stands across from me (wearing one of those scrumptious slouchy hats. And he had that sexy scruff going on), and they ask what they should pray for. I blurt the first thing. My mom is having a baby, a girl to be named Rowan Grace. So they all close their eyes and talk over one another, saying the same things repetitively, asking God to bless Rowan and me and my mom and our health. Then they said it in different ways. I'm telling you, it lasted forever. I felt like I was in one of those cults. It was very awkward. When they finally stopped, I only said "That was different!" and wanted to escape. I wanted to jet up into the sky, or have a heart attack, but that would only make them pray again, and that I couldn't handle. The very slowly meandered off, Cutie telling me he'd see me later (no, I'm not going for it. Heavy religion? No thank you) and knocking on more doors.
      I'm not saying their religion is stupid, or bashing it or anything like that. I was tempted by cute boys into doing something I totally don't believe. So now they're probably all going to think I need more Jesus in my life, and they'll invite me to their Christian parties, which I'll constantly decline. And while I want to scream to everyone (not really-just make it known) that I don't believe in a God, I just know that those determined Christians will try to get me to go to church or pray. That's what's annoying to me. I know they believe that pushing their beliefs on others is a good thing, but mostly, it's annoying as hell. Live your life, worship whomever (or whatever) you like, and don't preach to a person who doesn't believe what you believe.
      Thanks for the prayer though. I guess.